Driving on the Right Side of the Law

The traffic police in Spain, Tráfico, a division of the Guardia Civil, are not well loved. There are different groups on Facebook and Whatsapp where members call the attention of other members and tell them where a a patrol or speed trap might be set up. Sometimes humor is involved. The cops have been called smurfs, lettuces (because the uniform is green), and photographers. 

Sometimes, though, even the cops are surprised by what they find on the roads. And, yes, most of it is fineable because the civilians involved are actually breaking a traffic law. Yet, situations can get very strange. 

Some time ago, there was the news of a driver in the Basque country who had
packed his car with bales of straw. The car was a moving bale on the road. He wasn't the only one who took advantage of a spacious car. In 2014 in Jonquera, in Catalunya, right on the border with France, the driver of a Renault Espace was stopped because the car was obviously overloaded. The reason was that the driver was towing his old tractor to the junkyard. The tractor was sitting in the back of the car. If you ever need a roomy car where anything can fit, I suppose an Espace will do the trick. The driver was stopped, fined, and the tractor was extracted onto a tow truck. There was no word on why the driver didn't hire a tow truck in the first place.

Then there are other fines that are nit-picking fines. Perhaps the officers haven't fulfilled their quota for the month, and desperately need to fulfill it so they can get the bonuses with their salary. Here, in A Coruña, a man was stopped and fined three hundred euros for having an illegal lethal weapon in the car. No, it wasn't an Ak-47 nor an Uzi, which are definitely off limits for civilians in Spain. It was a slingshot hanging from the rearview mirror. Apparently, it had been made by his grandfather who had died, and the young man had it there as a keepsake. It was quite obvious it wasn't there for the occasional act of road rage, à la Los Angeles, yet the law states that a slingshot is considered a weapon.

In Ibiza, a car filled with Swiss tourists was stopped for a routine alcohol check. It ended up with six passengers fined for not wearing their seatbelts. They couldn't; they were conducting an orgy in the backseat. Apparently, they had their checkbooks with them. The fines were reduced in half because they all paid at the moment.

Careful with the tricycles. In Sevilla a man was fined for riding a tricycle at night in an industrial park with no lights, full speed down a hill. Which begs the question, what was a man doing, at night, in an industrial park, riding a tricycle?? He must have been sober, because otherwise he would also have been fined for riding under the influence. I think.

An plainclothes officer of the Policía Nacional, on a chase after a fugitive, was pulled over by Tráfico and fined for not wearing his seatbelt. His explanation of keeping his body free so he could handily pull out his weapon didn't seem to convince the strict traffic cops, who felt no solidarity whatsoever for a fellow officer of the law.

Then there are the hopefuls who think they can get away with driving in the special bus and carpooling lane with no one else in the car. Well, yes, a mannequin. But having a mannequin along doesn't count as a carpool, not even when that mannequin is nicely dressed, and wearing a wig and sunglasses. There's still something not quite right, and that will tip off any traffic cop in the area.  

If you're ever in Poio, Pontevedra, careful with the local cops. They can also distribute love notes, and the officers here are very conscientious. A couple of years ago, they fined thirteen drivers in 28 minutes at the exact same spot, for turning their heads more than 45 degrees. That is very dangerous, because it causes the driver to take their eyes off the road, even for five milliseconds. How the officers measured the head turns is yet a mystery. 

Let's just say that driving is an action fraught with dangers of all kinds, including that of having our wallets alleviated of their contents.

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