Why?
This area has been in the news for a week. Just about everyone in Spain has heard the name of our town, Rianxo. But not because of a happy reason. Rather, for the most heinous of reasons. It turns out that Diana Quer, an eighteen-year-old who went missing in August, 2016, in nearby Pobra do Caramiñal while on vacation, was killed and her body hidden here. And her killer is a neighbor.
As the story unfolded, we went through the stage of denial, of shock, and are now reaching the stage of acceptance. Yes, we know him; we also know his family. That is part of our stages of denial and shock. It's a normal family, neither better nor worse than any other family around here. It wasn't a broken home, like one might assume would nurture a serial rapist and killer. It was a home where all the children were taught the difference between right and wrong. It was a home where love abounded. Yet, this individual twisted himself in the most unnatural way.
The man was on his way to becoming a serial offender. The reason for his detention, and the speeding up of the investigation of the disappearance of Diana, was his assault of a woman last Christmas Day in nearby Boiro. He tried to push her into the trunk of his car, after attempting to take her phone. She resisted, two young men heard her, came to her rescue, and she escaped. She remembered his face, his car, and his license plate, and he was detained and charged. And from there the final developments in the Diana Quer case, and a confession. And the incredulity that still persists in many people.
Don't misunderstand me. If it is true that he killed and raped that girl, he should get the full punishment the law calls for. We are in the twenty-first century, and still women have to look over their shoulders at night. Still, there is the stigma of what we wear or don't wear. No woman walking home alone at night, whatever she might be wearing, is asking to be raped and killed. Turn the tables around, imagine a guy wearing a see-through tank top that shows his well formed pectoral muscles. And the tight, low-waisted biker shorts that show off his nether anatomy to the quarter-inch. Imagine him walking home alone one summer's night, and that a woman walks up to him, holding a knife, forces him into an alley, and rapes him, then knifes him. Does it make sense? Was he asking for it by wearing what he was and walking alone? Should the woman be excused because his clothing and body excited her so much she couldn't help herself? I'm sure nobody expects that to be any explanation for such a crime committed by a woman on a man. Then why should it be accepted for a crime committed by a man on a woman? Why should the woman be twice a victim, once in the street, and then by public opinion and sometimes even the justice system?
Women have come a long way in history, yet they are still second-class citizens. They are still in danger of their lives, and still judged when something happens to them. Men are still excused because of their victims' decisions in dress or actions. Gender equality and respect is something that still needs to be widely taught. Psycopaths will always exist, and unfortunately will touch some families we know, but they should never be excused for their actions.
That said, such a crime has various victims. One is the woman who suffers it. The other is her family, and the last is the perpetrator's family. Both families have lost loved ones. The girl's family is never going to see their daughter and sister again. They have the pain for the rest of their lives of never watching her develop her life, and complete her goals. At least now they can bury her and take her flowers every once in a while.
His family has renounced him. They do not want to know anything more about him, and refuse to ever visit him in prison. In fact, the other day, it was his lawyer who took him some clothes. But that doesn't seem to be enough for some illiterate and ignorant people. Facebook can be a great way to stay in touch with friends and family, but it is also a wonderful way to hound strangers. Of course, privacy settings do help, but there is still no reason to write on strangers' walls, calling them all sorts of names for being related to the criminal. As I mentioned before, his family did NOT raise him to be a rapist and killer. They are not responsible for his actions. Yet, idiots continue to point them out, hoping dire actions will happen to them, as they did to Diana. There is no sense in anything they claim, except in their lonely, unkempt heads.
The media won't leave them alone, either. Cameramen and reporters keep accosting them, sticking microphones in their faces, and reporting daily from either the killer's house, or the abandoned factory where they found the body. They also set up shop outside the girl's house, in Madrid. The father had to ask not to have video of his daughter on a gurney wrapped in a sheet, broadcast, as had been done when she was discovered. The killer's family is being hounded by reporters, mostly asking stupid questions by now, even of his nieces. Don't they teach integrity in journalism school anymore?
Respect can easily be taught and learned. Why don't we try it?
As the story unfolded, we went through the stage of denial, of shock, and are now reaching the stage of acceptance. Yes, we know him; we also know his family. That is part of our stages of denial and shock. It's a normal family, neither better nor worse than any other family around here. It wasn't a broken home, like one might assume would nurture a serial rapist and killer. It was a home where all the children were taught the difference between right and wrong. It was a home where love abounded. Yet, this individual twisted himself in the most unnatural way.
The man was on his way to becoming a serial offender. The reason for his detention, and the speeding up of the investigation of the disappearance of Diana, was his assault of a woman last Christmas Day in nearby Boiro. He tried to push her into the trunk of his car, after attempting to take her phone. She resisted, two young men heard her, came to her rescue, and she escaped. She remembered his face, his car, and his license plate, and he was detained and charged. And from there the final developments in the Diana Quer case, and a confession. And the incredulity that still persists in many people.
Don't misunderstand me. If it is true that he killed and raped that girl, he should get the full punishment the law calls for. We are in the twenty-first century, and still women have to look over their shoulders at night. Still, there is the stigma of what we wear or don't wear. No woman walking home alone at night, whatever she might be wearing, is asking to be raped and killed. Turn the tables around, imagine a guy wearing a see-through tank top that shows his well formed pectoral muscles. And the tight, low-waisted biker shorts that show off his nether anatomy to the quarter-inch. Imagine him walking home alone one summer's night, and that a woman walks up to him, holding a knife, forces him into an alley, and rapes him, then knifes him. Does it make sense? Was he asking for it by wearing what he was and walking alone? Should the woman be excused because his clothing and body excited her so much she couldn't help herself? I'm sure nobody expects that to be any explanation for such a crime committed by a woman on a man. Then why should it be accepted for a crime committed by a man on a woman? Why should the woman be twice a victim, once in the street, and then by public opinion and sometimes even the justice system?
Women have come a long way in history, yet they are still second-class citizens. They are still in danger of their lives, and still judged when something happens to them. Men are still excused because of their victims' decisions in dress or actions. Gender equality and respect is something that still needs to be widely taught. Psycopaths will always exist, and unfortunately will touch some families we know, but they should never be excused for their actions.
That said, such a crime has various victims. One is the woman who suffers it. The other is her family, and the last is the perpetrator's family. Both families have lost loved ones. The girl's family is never going to see their daughter and sister again. They have the pain for the rest of their lives of never watching her develop her life, and complete her goals. At least now they can bury her and take her flowers every once in a while.
His family has renounced him. They do not want to know anything more about him, and refuse to ever visit him in prison. In fact, the other day, it was his lawyer who took him some clothes. But that doesn't seem to be enough for some illiterate and ignorant people. Facebook can be a great way to stay in touch with friends and family, but it is also a wonderful way to hound strangers. Of course, privacy settings do help, but there is still no reason to write on strangers' walls, calling them all sorts of names for being related to the criminal. As I mentioned before, his family did NOT raise him to be a rapist and killer. They are not responsible for his actions. Yet, idiots continue to point them out, hoping dire actions will happen to them, as they did to Diana. There is no sense in anything they claim, except in their lonely, unkempt heads.
The media won't leave them alone, either. Cameramen and reporters keep accosting them, sticking microphones in their faces, and reporting daily from either the killer's house, or the abandoned factory where they found the body. They also set up shop outside the girl's house, in Madrid. The father had to ask not to have video of his daughter on a gurney wrapped in a sheet, broadcast, as had been done when she was discovered. The killer's family is being hounded by reporters, mostly asking stupid questions by now, even of his nieces. Don't they teach integrity in journalism school anymore?
Respect can easily be taught and learned. Why don't we try it?
A very thoughtful article. Thank you for sharing
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