Should I Stay or Should I Go?
I am becoming increasingly reluctant, in my oldening age, to leave the house. Almost every morning that I have nothing scheduled, I feel the yearning to see different sights. But once I start thinking about which sights, I don't feel like abandoning the house.
It's not that I have foregone my love of travel, or that I hate to step foot outside. I still love to dream about going far from here, about getting in the car and just driving. Some days I decide to go an hour's drive from here, and do so. But the action of closing the door behind me and getting in the car is becoming more difficult. I almost feel as if I don't want to go. I feel almost guilty for leaving the house.
Oh, I do have a very nice time wandering around, and seeing old and new places. It's that the inertia is becoming more difficult to overcome. I begin to understand my mother when she would refuse to go out, saying that she was very happy to stay home.
There is one good reason to limit unnecessary trips. After a couple of years of gas prices at a reasonable level, they have begun inching up again. Thanks to the antics of the person in Washington who thinks he knows more than people who actually do, tensions in the Middle East have increased the price of the barrel of crude oil, which in turn has increased the price of gas at the pump to levels of four years ago. Already, diesel, which our cars use, is up to €1.30 or €1.32 a liter, depending on which service station you choose. All this, while those who profit from oil don't allow renewable alternatives to develop at prices accessible to all. So, that is an excellent reason not to leave the house.
That inertia to walk out the door is also the inertia I must overcome to begin the day. While I get up just before nine, and that should give me ample time to decide what to do on an empty morning, I find myself dithering. I do one thing, check another, do something else that needs doing, think about where I want to go, and dither myself into lunchtime and the afternoon, when my classes begin. Then, the evening comes, and I think avidly on the next day, when I just do the same thing again.
No, I shouldn't go out every morning without any reason. But sometimes it is peaceful to step in the car and just drive. There is no reason to buy anything, just look around, and breathe in a different air. Discovering new lanes and roads is also interesting, especially at this time of year, when everything is green and lush. As usual, following an interesting sign down a lane, hoping to end up at a previously unexplored spot, and discovering that you are lost because the lanes have divided, and there are no more signs, is also to be expected on a drive. After all, I live in Spain, where too many times jobs are not followed through. Besides, all the locals know how to get there. Why shouldn't the outsider?
But sometimes I look at my cats. My cats look at me. My clock looks at me. I realize it's getting too late. Besides, gas is getting expensive, and we should begin to ration it a bit. So I stay comfortably at home. After all, tomorrow is another day.
It's not that I have foregone my love of travel, or that I hate to step foot outside. I still love to dream about going far from here, about getting in the car and just driving. Some days I decide to go an hour's drive from here, and do so. But the action of closing the door behind me and getting in the car is becoming more difficult. I almost feel as if I don't want to go. I feel almost guilty for leaving the house.
Oh, I do have a very nice time wandering around, and seeing old and new places. It's that the inertia is becoming more difficult to overcome. I begin to understand my mother when she would refuse to go out, saying that she was very happy to stay home.
There is one good reason to limit unnecessary trips. After a couple of years of gas prices at a reasonable level, they have begun inching up again. Thanks to the antics of the person in Washington who thinks he knows more than people who actually do, tensions in the Middle East have increased the price of the barrel of crude oil, which in turn has increased the price of gas at the pump to levels of four years ago. Already, diesel, which our cars use, is up to €1.30 or €1.32 a liter, depending on which service station you choose. All this, while those who profit from oil don't allow renewable alternatives to develop at prices accessible to all. So, that is an excellent reason not to leave the house.
That inertia to walk out the door is also the inertia I must overcome to begin the day. While I get up just before nine, and that should give me ample time to decide what to do on an empty morning, I find myself dithering. I do one thing, check another, do something else that needs doing, think about where I want to go, and dither myself into lunchtime and the afternoon, when my classes begin. Then, the evening comes, and I think avidly on the next day, when I just do the same thing again.
No, I shouldn't go out every morning without any reason. But sometimes it is peaceful to step in the car and just drive. There is no reason to buy anything, just look around, and breathe in a different air. Discovering new lanes and roads is also interesting, especially at this time of year, when everything is green and lush. As usual, following an interesting sign down a lane, hoping to end up at a previously unexplored spot, and discovering that you are lost because the lanes have divided, and there are no more signs, is also to be expected on a drive. After all, I live in Spain, where too many times jobs are not followed through. Besides, all the locals know how to get there. Why shouldn't the outsider?
But sometimes I look at my cats. My cats look at me. My clock looks at me. I realize it's getting too late. Besides, gas is getting expensive, and we should begin to ration it a bit. So I stay comfortably at home. After all, tomorrow is another day.
Comments
Post a Comment