Waiting....

Waiting. We are all waiting for something. Waiting for the bus. Waiting for the elevator. Waiting for the rain to stop. Waiting for someone to come home. Waiting for the hour to go home. Waiting for the evening. Waiting for the sun to rise. Waiting for our favorite show to come on. Waiting for payday. Waiting for death.

In between all this waiting, do we actually live and savor each moment as if it were a rough cut diamond? Or do we let the minutes escape, thinking that once we achieve what we are waiting for, we will finally stop and contemplate the daisies by the wayside? But once what we are waiting for arrives, we start to wait for something else. It happens to all of us. We wait to go home, thinking that moment is our refuge, that that is the culmination of our day. And when we arrive home we start to wait again, for dinner, for the news, for someone else to come home. And when we have finished waiting for all that, we wait to go to bed, to sleep and wait for another day.

I suppose it's a consequence of being humans and having a sense of time. We are either remembering the past or waiting for the future and totally ignoring the present until it becomes the past and it's gone. I had an experience a few years ago in which an extended family member was diagnosed with cancer. I thought about how alive I was and how I could feel all the different little things inside and outside my body. Every little tick, every little pain, every twitch, everything I could see, everything I could touch or smell, all that meant I was alive. I was present at this moment on this planet. I think that sensation of living lasted a couple of weeks, because I kept reminding myself. But then I stopped, and life continued, waiting again for the future and obviating the boring present. 

Most humans feel that what they are living at present is not the best life has to offer. They always feel that the best is yet to come, that it's something we must wait for patiently until it arrives. Even when we're having a good time, we feel we'll have a better time tomorrow, that this is a mere taste of the nectar the future is hiding from us. We glorify the good times in the past, wishing they would return, and expect similar times in the future, but are blind to the good times that are rushing by at this moment with each second. Carpe diem. Do we seize the day? Or do we blindly reach out to catch a diaphanous image that vanishes at will and is not solid like the chair we're sitting in right now? 

Or are we waiting to seize all our elusive tomorrows?

 

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