Living La Vida Loca

Despite being a nominally Catholic country, Spain has never had much of a hang-up with sex. Not in the north, at any rate. Up here we’ve always been more natural with the subject. Which is why most brothels are on busy roads and are well visible. Something will always give it away. It will either be the neon lights, a sign with a busty, silhouetted woman, or the word “Club” in garish lights at the top of the roof. Believe me, it won’t mean a book club. 

Last Sunday night, an elderly, single man left one of those clubs on foot. He, apart from enjoying the company of a lady, had drunk a few of the high-priced drinks such places tend to sell, and was a little the worse for wear. So much so that he set off in the wrong direction. When he realized it, he had walked over two kilometers, and it was very late and dark. The night was cold and it was drizzling. So he left the road and looked for a barn to shelter in. He found a little porch on the side of a shed. There he sat on the edge of a cement washtub to think over his next move. But he still wasn't too steady and fell back and into the washtub. From which he couldn't move. He couldn't even reach into the pocket where he had his cell phone. So he flailed his legs and arms as best he could, trying to get a momentum to pull himself out. In his leg-swinging, he was hitting the side of the shed and making a holy racket. He decided to get someone's attention and started shouting, as well. In the house just a few feet away the owner of the shed heard him and thought thieves were trying to break into his property. So he called the Guardia Civil. 

The officers on call showed up and discovered the elderly man stuck in the washtub. They managed to unstick him and pull him out. When he had explained his situation and it was obvious he had had no intention of breaking into the house on nefarious business, they called a cab for him. As they were waiting, the man sheepishly said, "A vida son dous días e hai que vivila." (Life is two days long and you have to live it.) True, though I think there might be less embarrassing ways to do so!