Public Family, Public Manners

A family spat is all it is, but a family spat should remain inside the walls of the home unless criminal behavior is involved. Every family has them, especially between the in-laws. In every culture the mother-in-law is a maligned creature. I suppose it's because a mother wants to remain in her child's life forever, even after that child has formed his own family. 

I have had differences with my mother-in-law, but I have never (I hope) brought them into the public eye. It's normal to have them. I do respect her, however, for the hard-working person she is, because she is essentially a good person, and for the fact that she is my husband's mother and my daughter's grandmother. Any differences are to be discussed in private.  

That should be explained to our Queen Letizia. I understand that in this age of ubiquitous cameras, she should want to control her daughters' images and who takes photos of her, and to what end. That explains a heated argument she once had in a store in Madrid when she thought another customer was taking photos of the girls with his phone. It explains it, but doesn't excuse it, because being the public persona she is, she should not erupt in public anger with an anonymous person. But it does not explain her efforts to frustrate a photo her mother-in-law wanted to take with her granddaughters at the end of Easter Mass at the cathedral of Palma de Mallorca, a public event where photos are to be expected. 

The images have gone beyond being a footnote in the Spanish media to bouncing off the newspapers and television news all over the world. Even The New York Times felt it was newsworthy to mention. This coming on top of the fiasco of the attempt to extradite the former Catalan president, Carles Puigdemont, from Germany, is making Spain look like the third-rate country it is fast becoming. The reason for a monarchy is to represent the country it rules to the rest of the world. To that end, its members must be respectful not only to their subjects, but also to each other. At least in public. 

The sight of the Queen arguing with her mother-in-law, the Queen Mother, and the sight of the eldest granddaughter swiping her grandmother's arm off her shoulder, is embarrassing, to say the least. It would be embarrassing enough to witness it in a normal family; it's overly embarrassing to witness it in a family that is supposed to represent us. Only recently a short documentary was shown of the King and Queen with their daughters in their home, showing how they were being a normal family. Recently I also passed over an article affirming that the monarchs are raising their daughters to learn respect and responsibility. The daughter's motion of angrily brushing off her grandmother's hand belies the article and the documentary. So does the Queen's actions to interrupt the photo, and the public argument with her mother-in-law. So does the Queen's rubbing off of a kiss landed on her daughter's forehead by the Queen Mother. 

I once was in favor of the monarchy because, in this fractured country, it seemed to bind us all together in representing all of us. That was changed by the King's speech in October after the referendum in Catalunya, in which he railed against those who had held the referendum and voted in it. To have kept my respect, he should have held out a hand to them, and urged for dialogue to keep Spain united. To have kept my respect for the royal family, they should act as a model of the perfect family in public, at least. As things are now, I would prefer they quietly leave and go about their own business in private, elsewhere. There is no need for a royal family to embarrass us. Our prime minister does that well, all by himself.

Abdicar, Abdicación, Corona, Rey

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