Tired

-
I'm tired.

I'm so tired.

I'm tired of the same news of how we are killing each other because of the difference of our skin. I'm tired of hearing how desperate people crossing the Mediterranean are being told to drown in it instead of being accepted by countries who have plenty to share. I'm tired of how stupid mobs follow stupid people spouting inane stupidities. I'm so tired of heads of state ignoring the wants and needs of their citizens and listening only to the wants and needs of those who line their pockets. I'm tired of seeing wildfires that devour everything green and some people's lives and homes. I'm so, so tired of wondering what kind of world awaits our daughter when she is our age. I'm tired.

I'm tired of the same routine, day in and day out. I'm tired of sitting in my study. I'm tired of washing the dishes and the clothes. I'm tired of the demands of my beloved pets. I'm tired of always cleaning the same things and seeing that they still need to be cleaned. I'm tired. 

I'm tired of not having enough money to pay for everything this crumbling house needs. I'm tired of fighting the water heater so it turns on. I'm tired of looking for a second hand car that fits our needs and our budget. I'm tired of not being able to take two weeks off and going wherever we choose. I'm tired of having to think when I can take the time and the money to fix my laptop, and then my desktop. I'm tired.

But I'm also grateful, and that is what takes me forward. I'm grateful for the love of my husband and my daughter. I'm grateful for the beauties of my morning walks when I can take them. I'm grateful for the few days this summer of good summer weather (this is one of the few spots on the planet that are cooler than normal this year). I'm grateful for my pets' love. I'm grateful for having lost weight and feeling better, and having my blood pressure lower than it's been in years. I'm grateful for the upcoming five days my husband and I can manage to take away from home, though it's not as long, nor as far, as I would have liked. I'm grateful for each day that dawns.

I'm grateful to be alive.


Ant, Brown, Carrying, Egg, White, Tired
 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Not So Fast, 9. Fairness.

-
Image
Contagion just keeps going up, especially among the young people. In less than a month, Spain has become one of the European countries with the most spread of Covid. Luckily, we are also vaccinating quickly, now, and there are fewer hospitalizations. Still, this means that we are not going to have a freer summer.  Thinking about some of the things I have written about, and that have caught my eye, I realize that my political views have always been left of center. Even when I was a child, I was obsessed with justice. "That's not fair!" was an exclamation that always made me mad. It wasn't fair that if one kid did something wrong, the whole class should be punished. It wasn't fair that a bully would take away a kid's cookies. It wasn't fair! As I grew, and watched the evening news with my parents, I became aware that the world wasn't fair, either. There were wars, people killed other people, people lived in poverty, people went hungry next to others sipp
Read more

We're Moving!

-
Image
This is my last post on Blogger. I've set up my blog on WordPress, and I'll be blogging over there from now on.  My WordPress account has a main page on which the blog entries can be accessed from the section in the middle called "My Thoughts", or from the menu in the upper right hand corner by pressing "Blog."  I really don't like to let go of this account, because I had it set up in a way that I liked. Blogger has a pretty simple approach to writing and personalizing one's page, but it's become too unwieldy for me. For some strange reason, it refused to agree with my keyboard the last couple of entries, yet today it's working more correctly. But I just can't sit down to write without knowing what to expect from the screen.  My blog will continue with the same address, except for having WordPress instead of Blogspot. It's spanishviews.wordpress.com .  I welcome everyone to come over to the new blog, and thank you for following me up
Read more

In Normal Times, 1. Blinking Awake.

-
Image
It's been six months since the last time I wrote. I've been tired, and haven't felt much like putting my thoughts into coherent words and sentences. I haven't been helped by the age of my computer (it's screaming out for change; it still uses Windows 7), nor by this platform of Blogger. As I write, it underlines everything I've written in red, squiggly lines, reminding me to spell check because it's all wrong. Yet, I have my computer set to English, as well as trying to find an input language on this thing, and check @English@. It also won-t coincide with my keyboard. I just put quotation marks around the word English, yet it gave out asperands. It also gave me a hyphen instead of an apostrophe in won-t. Yet, when I pull up an empty page on my word processor, everything coincides correctly. And one time in March, when I found enough energy to write, I tried to put in photos from my phone and the entire entry was somehow erased. If I return and keep writing,
Read more