Tired

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I'm tired.

I'm so tired.

I'm tired of the same news of how we are killing each other because of the difference of our skin. I'm tired of hearing how desperate people crossing the Mediterranean are being told to drown in it instead of being accepted by countries who have plenty to share. I'm tired of how stupid mobs follow stupid people spouting inane stupidities. I'm so tired of heads of state ignoring the wants and needs of their citizens and listening only to the wants and needs of those who line their pockets. I'm tired of seeing wildfires that devour everything green and some people's lives and homes. I'm so, so tired of wondering what kind of world awaits our daughter when she is our age. I'm tired.

I'm tired of the same routine, day in and day out. I'm tired of sitting in my study. I'm tired of washing the dishes and the clothes. I'm tired of the demands of my beloved pets. I'm tired of always cleaning the same things and seeing that they still need to be cleaned. I'm tired. 

I'm tired of not having enough money to pay for everything this crumbling house needs. I'm tired of fighting the water heater so it turns on. I'm tired of looking for a second hand car that fits our needs and our budget. I'm tired of not being able to take two weeks off and going wherever we choose. I'm tired of having to think when I can take the time and the money to fix my laptop, and then my desktop. I'm tired.

But I'm also grateful, and that is what takes me forward. I'm grateful for the love of my husband and my daughter. I'm grateful for the beauties of my morning walks when I can take them. I'm grateful for the few days this summer of good summer weather (this is one of the few spots on the planet that are cooler than normal this year). I'm grateful for my pets' love. I'm grateful for having lost weight and feeling better, and having my blood pressure lower than it's been in years. I'm grateful for the upcoming five days my husband and I can manage to take away from home, though it's not as long, nor as far, as I would have liked. I'm grateful for each day that dawns.

I'm grateful to be alive.


Ant, Brown, Carrying, Egg, White, Tired
 

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