The Adjusted Normal, 54. The Paper Clip Odyssey

It doesn't matter if the world is coming to an end, or if we're all going to get sick and die. Bureaucracy will never end. This country's motto should be, "If someone else can do it, I don't have to."

Two years ago (yes, two, 2) in February, I parked in the main square of our township overlong and without a blue disc. People who are going to park in the town can ask for a blue disc, which you can twirl around to let the police know what time you parked in a spot, so they can fine you if you've been there longer than an hour. If you don't have the disc, you get the fine, even if you've been there only five minutes.

Well, that day I went to the bank, and the wait time was long. Unfortunately, I forgot to look out the window to check if an officious officer was doing the rounds, and they were. When I went back to the car, a little blue slip was under the windshield wiper, €80. 

After cursing the moon purple, I went home, and less than twenty days later, I went to a bank and paid. Since I paid before twenty days were up, I paid half. Months after that, cleaning out my bag, I found both the blue slip and the payment receipt, and decided to put them away in the binder where I keep any paper I might need again. 

It was a good thing, too. In April of that year, I received a letter from the town hall, asking me to pay the €80 in full, because they had no record that I had paid the fine. I took the slip and the receipt, gave it to someone in the office, they looked at it, I think they make copies, did something on a computer, and told me everything was fine.

Until yesterday. I got a letter from the regional tax office. It was ordering me to pay €88 before the 20th of August, or the amount would be embargoed from my bank account. In big letters, the phone numbers for the Water Department were at the top of the letter.

I was confused at first. Augas de Galicia? What does the water department have to do with this ancient fine? Perhaps, their offices are somehow taking queries over overdue fines? I called them. The very amiable and polite lady took my name and ID number, couldn't find anything, then took my phone number and told me she would call me back.

She did, bless her heart. She explained that the regional tax office had made a mistake including their phone numbers on the letter, that the Water Department of Galicia had nothing to do with the debt I owed them. She said to call a different number, which was the actual number of the regional tax offices. Okay. 

I did, and the woman who answered said I would have to send the blue slip and receipt by email, so that they could inform the town hall that the fine had been paid. I asked if, since they were going to send it back to my town, if I could just simply take copies there, so they could settle everything. The woman said, of course, there was no problem, and I could take everything to my town hall and that would be the end of that.

That was not the end of that. First, I went to the local tax offices, just across the square from the town hall. There, they told me they weren't the ones who dealt with those problems, and to go to the general offices in the town hall, fill out a sheet explaining my situation, and then hand it in there. I went to the general offices. After waiting in line, I approached the desk and explained what had happened.

Oh, no, they weren't the ones I had to explain or hand anything to. What I had to do was fill out a form explaining what had happened, and send it to the regional tax office. They were the ones now in charge of the process of claiming the money, and the town hall offices would merely receive a report from them. I didn't have to tell them anything.

Everyone was passing the buck, and in the end, I would probably pay the buck. From this bureaucratic adventure I take away several things. 1. Keep every single paper ever generated by any official or semi-official entity, sales slips included, probably. 2. Never trust a bureaucrat when they say something has been fixed. 3. If there is a suggestion of an easier way to settle something, don't do it. You'll only get results jumping through thirty-two hoops and not by jumping through just three. 4. Never expect to settle a problem at the first office you visit. 5. Never expect to visit only one office to settle a problem.

Life continues. So does bureaucracy.